December 24, 2006

It Burns, Make It Stop

During the Police Academy I was on a strict diet which included the exclusion (that wording just sounded funny to me so I left it in) of all soda. Along with no soda, I was eating a diet of whole grains, low fats, and a good balance of carbs and protein. My current diet is close to the same amount and types of foods but I've added soda back on the list of approved items. The difference now is, with the re-introduction of the "Nectar of Life" (a.k.a. Mountain Dew), I have heartburn.

Prior to the academy I had heartburn that was bad enough I almost sought medical attention for it. I was taking some sort of antacid everyday. During the academy, through all the stress and hard times I faced there, my heartburn all but disappeared. I believe it had to do with the absence of acids in soda. Now that I'm back on "the juice" I've started to suffer from heartburn again.

I have not done any research regarding the correlation between soda and heartburn, but I feel my heartburn is affected by the ingestion of this liquid heaven (Christian friends, please do not think I actually think Mountain Dew is anything close to heaven). I originally thought the reduction in heartburn was due to weight loss but I have not returned to my pre-academy weight. I am still about 200lbs, down almost 30lbs from before the academy training.

This post is mainly to inquire as to anyone's thoughts on this. Can soda give heartburn? Can this desirable beverage, in fact, produce a downward spiral into heartburn hell? (Again, Christian friends please don't think that I believe heartburn is anything like the pain and suffering Hell will offer non-believers) Please post your comments regarding your opinion of soda and heartburn. Do you think soda can cause heartburn? What can I do to enjoy my Mountain Dew and not have the heartburn?

By the way, I had pizza for dinner tonight. Is it from the pizza? Probably both.

December 19, 2006

What A Buy, It's A Gaming Machine (Animal)

DELL XPS GEN II 2.0GHz Intel Pentium M 1GB DDR RAM 17” LCD Nvidia 256MB Graphics Card 60GB HD 7200rpm Windows XP Pro MS Office Small Business (Word, Excel, Outlook, Publisher, Powerpoint) DVD/CD ROM XPS Backpack I'm switching to Mac. Because of my music and a desire to produce a CD of my own songs, I want to buy a MacBook Pro for the abilities it has to do this. I am asking $2,500.oo for this XPS. I priced out one on Dell's site a couple weeks ago and the price for a very similar system was about $400.00 more. Dell will charge tax on top of that. I've had mine since May 2005. Email me or post a comment and I will review any offers.

Jail Wars - Lucas Wishes

This would be awesome if it was true...and I was going to star in it. The truth is, the night shift can be slow at times. If the weather is cold, the bad guys don't like to come out as often. Anyway, enjoy.

December 14, 2006

Rap Is Crap, Unless Al Does It

"Weird Al" Yankovic's music video from his new album "Straight Outta Lynwood"

December 13, 2006

Watch This! This Is Musical Genius.

Just For Now!? How about "Just for Wow! I think this is really amazing. She is really talented. This is Imogen Heap.

Test Your Ear. Was That The Same?

This link http://jakemandell.com/tonedeaf/ will take you to a very difficult music test. See what you can do and email me or post a comment with your score. Here's my score:

December 5, 2006

Is Your Emergency Contact "The White House?"

While working in the jail as a floor officer with the freedom to help all over the jail, I was in booking and helping with a fresh intake. The arrestee, we'll call "Grandpa Sailorman" (because he looked likePopeye's dad), was asked for the name of his emergency contact. He gave the name George Bush. The four officers and I had a good laugh at that and then I asked him if he had George's number at the White House. Grandpa Sailorman rattled off some (202)-###-1414 number (something like that, that's all Iremember). I joked with the other officers and said, "It would be funny if that was the number." I told another officer she should call it and see if George answers. Officer"W" made the call. There was an answer. "WHITE HOUSE." a felame voice said. Officer "W" hung up the phone and we all laughed in shock that the number really was to the White House. I told Grandpa Sailorman he was free to go. No, he wasn't. But it was the craziest thing yet for me. This job is AWESOME!

November 4, 2006

Full Speed Ahead

This is the coolest speed test I've ever seen. It's graphically fun to watch and it is a great test. I will post my speeds from home. Compare yours and don't be jealous.

October 25, 2006

Cops Have the Best Job!

Recently, a California website ran an e-mail forum (a question and answer exchange) where the topic was "Policing the Community." One of the civilian email participants posed the following question: "I would like to know how it is possible for police officers to continually harass people and get away with it?"

From the "other side" (the law enforcement side) a cool cop with a sense of humor replied:

It is not easy. In California we average one cop for every 2,000 people. About 60% of those cops are on patrol, where we do most of the harassing. One-fifth of that 60% are duty at any given moment and are available for harassing people. So, one cop is responsible for harassing about 10,000 residents. When you toss in the commercial, business and tourist locations that attract people from other areas, sometimes you have a situation where a single cop is responsible for harassing 20,000 or more people each day.

A ten-hour shift runs 36,000 seconds. This gives a cop one second to harass a person, and three-fourths of a second to eat a donut AND then find a new person to harass. This is not an easy task. Most cops are not up to it, day in and day out. It is just too tiring. What we do is utilize some tools to help us narrow down those people which we harass. They are as follow:

PHONE: People will call us up and point out things that cause us to focus on a person for special harassment. "My neighbor is beating his wife" is a code phrase we use. Then we come out and give special harassment. Another popular one on a weeknight is, "The kids next door are having a loud party."

CARS: We have special cops assigned to harass people who drive. They like to harass the drivers of fast cars, cars blasting music, cars with expired registration stickers and the like. It is lots of fun when you pick them out of traffic for nothing more obvious than running a red light. Sometimes you get to really heap the harassment on when you find they have drugs in the car, are driving drunk, or they have an outstanding warrant.

RUNNERS: Some people take off running just at the sight of a police officer. Nothing is quite as satisfying as running after them like a beagle on the scent of a bunny. When you catch them you can harass them for hours.

CODES: When you can think of nothing else to do, there are books that give ideas for reasons to harass folks. They are called "Codes" Penal, Vehicle, Health and Safety, Business, and Professional Codes, to name a few. They spell out all sorts of things for which you can really mess with people. After you read the code, you can just drive around for a while until you find someone violating one of these listed offenses and harass them. Just last week I saw a guy smash a car window. Well, the code says that is not allowed. That meant I got permission to harass this guy. It is a pretty cool system that we have set up, and it works pretty well.

We seem to have a never-ending supply of folks to harass. And we get away with it. Why*because the good citizens who pay the tab actually like the fact that we keep the streets safe for them. Next time you are in my town, give me a single finger wave. That will be a signal that you wish for me to take a little closer look at you, and then maybe I'll find a reason to harass YOU.

Looking forward to meeting you!

October 20, 2006

The Evolution in Police Vehicles is Here...Locally!

Here is a picture of the newest Lincoln Police car. It's a Dodge Charger. It kicks the tail of the Crown Victorias in their fleet. What is wrong with Ford? They have an engine and a great start to a design. I call it the Ford 800. Grow the Ford Five Hundred and put the 5.4 liter V8 in it. It would work. I've emailed Ford, no response. They will probably steal my idea and claim it as their own.

May 14, 2006

Goodness, Be Careful!

Wow, I think I once made a home video of me doing these same moves. Watch and Enjoy. (Video)

April 9, 2006

Most Impressive

This is the “most impressive” light saber fight ever. (Video)