It Still Takes a Village

It’s interesting how humans act and react to each other and situations.  We can be so fickle.  We can get our feeling hurt over seemingly little things.  One minute we can be friends with someone, and the next we can be angry at something said to us or about us.

In my line of work, the Type-A personality is most common; and it’s needed.  I deal with bad people and have to be an authority figure, strong and decisive, almost all the time.  There are opportunities that present themselves to show empathy for a situation my “customers” get themselves into.  (Just the other night, for example, one of them came and explained the death of his son to me.  With tears in his eyes, this guy told me about how he felt responsible for a car accident that injured and ultimately took the life of his 13 year old boy.)  But most of the time, I have to direct and order these “customers” to do particular things to keep the facility running smoothly and on schedule.

And the rest of the people I work with have to lead in the same way, causing the potential for more conflicts among ourselves.  All these strong willed, opinionated, Type-A people, working in close quarters for 12+ hours at a time, will and does cause drama.  One minute everyone is getting along, and in seconds all hell can break loose.  One person may perceive another is not working or is not doing a particular task well.  Other times, someone thinks something is being done completely wrong or in an inefficient way.  Or someone says something about one person that is then spread to others, and then feelings are hurt and defense mechanisms come up.

Now, being in my forties and having managed upwards of 75 employees, I can take a step back and use the conflicts as learning experiences.  I also try and point coworkers to the same mindset.  Don’t get me wrong, I can be overly sensitive and worried about what another person says about me or to me.  But, I don’t want to be that way.  I want to feel secure in who I am and what I do, and to be able to learn from people and situations that typically make me insecure.

It’s about making the best of a situation.  Whether it’s a bad situation to learn from or a misunderstanding to straighten out, it’s important for all involved to stay sane and to take the opportunity to grow and learn and change when needed.  If we get to full of ourselves, we lose.  If we get too judgmental of others, we lose.  If we aren’t honest with others and ourselves, we lose.  It’s important to remember, we are all imperfect creatures.  We all have something to learn from each other.  Just because we are no longer children, it doesn’t mean it no longer "takes a village."

10 Things I'm Thinking About, and I Want to Return to Blogging

10 things I'm thinking about:

01.  The election: making a case for the lesser of two bad options

02.  Mid-life crisis: what I want vs. what I need

03.  Religion vs. Faith: actions vs. belief

04.  Technology: where it is vs. where it should be

05.  Career choices: enjoyment vs. compensation

06.  Parenting: almost 10 years in

07.  The USA: end times or just a rough patch

08.  Work ethic: is it dead

09.  Morality: is it dying

10.  Truth: perception vs. reality

I want to return to blogging:

I really miss writing my blog.  And, while it's really just for me (because I don't have an established purpose, or audience, or skills in writing), it's good practice for what I do at work.  Writing is a big part of my duties again, and writing a good report about a given incident is crucial.  The reader needs to understand the who, what, when, where, and why, and they need to understand all the resulting actions taken.  I need to "paint the picture" of events that occurred.

The items listed above are some of the things I've been thinking about as topics for the blog.  It's interesting to me that these are not the typical topics I originally wrote about when I used to blog.  Most posts from the decade+ of writing I've done are on the topics of automotive, beverages, technology, the Bible, or random rants about this or that.

Above are some of my ideas for where I may focus in the future, along with my previous post titled: 20 Things Currently Annoying Me.  The latter would be the typical negatively themed topics James Guhn writes about.  I mean, if you look back at my Twitter feed, it's a pretty negative place.  There's some good stuff too, but there is a lot of complaining about how things should be or how they "could be better if..."

Currently with the shift work I do, there is a lot more time I could spend writing about all sorts of things.  I now work 4 days one week and 3 days the next, giving me 3 and 4 days off each week to sit around being lazy.  Instead, I could be using my time to improve my writing style, while giving my opinions with more details and depth that my 140 character tweets allow.  

Previous posts that still excite me are my "If I Were CEO" and "My Bright Ideas" post.  These posts, as examples, give me things to look at years later for implementation in reality.  I get to see how companies take these ideas (probably not from me, but their own research) and implement them.  Microsoft is an example of a company that seems to have read my blogs on what I'd do if I were their CEO (here).

But I digress.  I want to write more.  I'll say, "I'm going to write more."  I just hope I use my time to do this more often.  Stay tuned (he said to himself).

20 Things Currently Annoying Me

20 things that are currently annoying me:

01.  My iCloud being full (Apple should offer more free space, like 16GB)
02.  Trying to decide Android or iPhone (AGAIN!)
03.  Heartburn
04.  Computer virus (Windows machine)
05.  New computer decisions, Mac or Windows? (pricey or virusy)
06.  People who don't like Law Enforcement
07.  People who keep racism alive (media)
08.  Low pay to love my job vs. good pay to not love my job
09.  Law Enforcement Officers being poorly paid
10.  Trump being the best option
11.  Getting old
12.  Still young, but not really feeling it (everything hurts all the time)
13.  Mid-life crisis without the $$ for my sports car (or truck, if I'm more practical)
14.  Time for blogging, but not the motivation
15.  Time to write music, but not inspired to write good words
16.  Missing workouts because I'm lazy
17.  Loving Netflix, Amazon Prime, and HBO shows that make me lazy
18.  Loving food, but not wanting to be fat
19.  Being hot (temperature, not looks)
20.  Not being able to think of a clever 20th item for the list, to end it right

General Chaos at General Motors' Chevrolet Cadillac Branded Kuni Owned Dealership in Sacramento, CA

The Intro:
Buying a new car is stressful for anyone, especially when many people believe sales people and dealerships are often times working towards confusing the buyer into believing a deal is great, all the while, disguising an excessively profitable deal for themselves.  And, while I do not think a dealerships should be stuck with an unprofitable deal, an honest upfront, "it can't be done for that low of a price," would go so much further with me than being caught in a manipulative lie.  Well, I believe I caught the lie just in time.

The Back Story:

Saturday 06/13/15, my wife and I, with our two boys, spent over 4 hours at Kuni Chevrolet in Sacramento, CA, working out the details on a lease we believed was for a Chevy Tahoe LTZ.  And, while the vehicle we were negotiating the deal around was not at Kuni on that Saturday, it was a short distance away, said to be coming from a dealership in Milpitas, CA.  An agreement was reached on a Silver 2WD LTZ with a rear seat Blue-Ray/DVD system, second row bucket sheets, and a whole bunch of other features, including our favorite color. We completed some paperwork, which included a VIN number (ending 639176) for, what we believed, was our future LTZ model Tahoe, with delivery planned for Monday, 06/15/15.

On Monday, my wife and I each made calls to Kuni late in the afternoon, looking for information on the vehicle's arrival, as we needed to arrange getting to the dealership to take delivery and provide our down payment.  Eventually, we were called back and told "the bad news," by our salesman, that "the Milpitas dealership sold the vehicle right out from under us".  He went on to say he and his manager yelled at the other dealership about professionalism and fulfilling commitments, and he assured me he was looking to locate another LTZ with all the same specifications we'd agreed to originally.  It was at this point my wife decided to use Google and look-up the VIN to locate this dealership in Milpitas.  We'd hoped to contact them and find out more information on how they could have sold our Tahoe to someone else.  But, the Google search resulted in a hit at Kuni Chevrolet in Sacramento.  I thought it was odd, but believed perhaps it had something to do with the transfer happening over the weekend to Kuni.  Perhaps, Milpitas sold it early Monday morning.

On to Tuesday and Wednesday, which went about the same as Monday, with different salesmen getting involved with the vehicle search for us.  One salesman even sent specs with another VIN for a vehicle located in Fresno.  But, that one too was sold before we could get it up to Kuni, and other Tahoes were also "sold right out from under us".

Then, Thursday evening came and I received a call from our original salesman.  He'd located "the perfect LTZ Tahoe in Southern California, with the cocoa dune (light tan) interior, just as we'd always wanted."  Although we'd always planned on gray or black in an LT model, we'd discovered gray wasn't offered in the LTZ models Kuni had been working to make the deal on.  My wife felt she'd be satisfied with the tan, as it was a lighter, cooler color for the hot sunny days, but we wanted to see it in person first.  The salesman told us they were going to put someone on a plane to Los Angeles and have the truck delivered to the dealership on Friday.  Skeptical at this point, I told him to call me when it arrived.

And Friday night, 06/19/15, at about 4:45pm, I received a phone call from the salesman.  He said the vehicle had arrived.  He told me he was sending it to be detailed and he wanted to know what time we could be down.  I told him we'd come look at it after I got off work, at approximately 6:00pm.

As we pulled into the dealership later that evening, we saw the Silver Tahoe and we initially got excited.  We looked it over, reviewing the interior color and other required features.  We then went inside to sign corrected paperwork, with the new vehicles VIN number.  For our troubles, I expected they may have even sweetened the deal.

We were introduced to a new (new to the dealership and new to us) finance guy.  Since the deal was already established, I expected it to be a quick signing process.  But, when the finance guy pulled out the new paperwork, I immediately looked to the overall cost and saw an increase of approximately $900.00 in price.  "Not to worry," said the salesman, "your payment is still the same".  I reviewed the paperwork again for where this increase was going to appear, and it had been placed into the residual value (the amount the truck will cost if we buy it out at the end of the lease, or the value it needs to be worth if we decide to sell it private party).  I explained I wasn't happy with this.  After all the issues, the deal should have been, at minimum, the same deal we'd agreed to on Saturday, a week earlier.

AND THEN ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE.  My ever racing mind put together the following facts and connected, what I believe, was a complete manipulation of the truth to lock us in with the Kuni dealership.  Based on my experience in sales, pricing, finance, and with my training in reading people's body language, interviewing and interrogation skills, I quickly put together what I believe happened back on that first Saturday.


The Facts That Quickly Took Shape in My Head:

1.  Kuni Chevrolet did not have any Chevy Tahoes on the lot besides a blue LS (base) model, unless they were incompetent in finding others when asked about the specific LT model showing on the Kuni website.  We were eventually told, the one on the website "must be in transit."

2.  While working on pricing and payment for leasing an LT model Tahoe, the salesman presented specifications for several different Tahoes that closely matched what we'd laid out, but were never exactly right, as they all were either missing a feature or two, were the wrong color, or were found to be unavailable at the other dealerships.

3.  Upon stating I needed to go, but would return once one was found matching our desires, the salesman asked for another minute.  He left and came back with an LTZ model (a model above the LT we'd initially designed) and he managed to make it work with a relatively attractive lease deal.

4.  After reviewing the documents and the designed down payment, monthly payments, and residue value, we agreed to sign for this LTZ model vehicle.

5.  The finance guy created paperwork for the deal and included a VIN number we later Googled and found as an LS at Kuni.

6.  We were told our LTZ was "sold out from under us," by a dealership that was supposedly in Milpitas, CA.


The Realization of The Facts and What I Believe Happened:

While sitting there on Friday, realizing they were trying to make an additional $900.00+ out of the deal, hiding it in the residue to keep the payments the same, I connected the original VIN's Google Search results, to the blue LS model still sitting out on the Kuni lot.  I then surmised there was never an LTZ from Milpitas on it's way with the original VIN used on the GM Financial Leasing form and the CA DMV 262 form we signed.  Instead, I believe the original deal was made without an actual LTZ model located, but rather Kuni fabricated this deal and unmatched VIN for the purpose of running our credit, locking us into a deal with them, and giving them time to find a vehicle they could actually make a relatively similar deal on.

Why I Believe There Was an Ethical Issue Here and The Aftermath of My Rage:

I sent the new finance guy out and called for the original finance guy and our salesman to confront them both.  With prior conversations and all the facts, I put together my mental interview notes and decided to go straight into interrogation mode.  When the original finance guy and our original salesman arrived, I told them I knew what they'd done and I could not believe they would try to manipulate me like that.  The finance guy's immediate reaction, one of self preservation was to pull the file in toward himself as a way of protection.  He then got indignant and frustrated and said, "oh you think you've got us figured out, do you?" I explained, I did and his reactions was my proof.

I explained, my belief was the original LTZ model from Milpitas didn't exsist and because Kuni couldn't find a vehicle that matched our desired specifications, they manufactured one for the purpose of running our credit.  I explained, I believed the VIN used was to the LS model on the lot because they needed a VIN for the paperwork, which I told him I wanted back.  I explained I needed the originally signed DMV 262 form and the originally signed lease contract.  He refused and said they were his file copies and I couldn't have them.  I told him, I wasn't going to allow an ink signed contact and DMV form to be left intact on a vehicle I never agreed to purchase.  He then said, "it was a simple typos," pulled the forms out, and ripped them in half.  He then angrily threw them on the desk and left.

The salesman pleaded with me to give them a second chance.  I told him to go get the original features list and VIN for the Milpitas LTZ Tahoe.  He couldn't produce it.  Even after searching for several minutes, a saleswoman involved in the original negotiations came with a piece of paper and showed me a list of VIN numbers, one without a sales date and said, "see, it's right here."  I explained to her and the salesman that she was showing me the same VIN for the blue LS...AGAIN!  The salesman told her, "you are doing the same thing the others did."


So, we left the dealership.  We eventually went to a different dealership and bought an LT model for about $9,000.00 less than the LTZ.  We filed a case with GM, but "GM doesn't get involved with sales disagreements," even though this is an ethical issue, from my point of view, not just a sales disagreement.  The operator told me, she had "checked with her resources and this wasn't something they'd get involved in".  She did tell me if I gave her my new VIN, she could offer On-Star for a couple years, but that service is crap.  Kuni was supposed to reach out but never did.


One more point:  There is no dealership in Milpitas, CA.  This may be where the train stops to drop off the inventory of new Chevy Tahoes for Northern California, but there's no dealership.  The fact that ethics in car sales is always a question in people's minds, makes me so angry.  I've been a car nut for years, but the industry is so corrupt.  I hate that I bought a GM product after all the bailout BS, but it's a superior SUV to the rest.  And the fact company wasn't willing to look at this issue for what it was, an ethics issue not a sales dispute, makes me more disgusted with my purchase.  There was no dispute with the original sales deal.  I actually think it was an amazing deal...too amazing perhaps, and Kuni couldn't live up to that deal.

Why I Love Thanksgiving More Than Other Holidays

There are so many people who trash Thanksgiving for various reason.  Some attribute it to the taking of land from the Native Americans, while others post things like this.  Anyway, I love Thanksgiving more than other holidays because of a few F-Words.

1.  Food.  Of course this tops my list because I love to eat.  I love to mix my mashed potatoes with butter and gravy along with my buttery and salty corn.  I love brown sugar and butter mixed with yams to make sweet potatoes (slow and low simmer style).  I love homemade rolls with more butter.  Maybe it's the B-Word, BUTTER.  Turkey is okay too, but it's not really about the turkey.  Later, I love the pumpkin pie and a second round of all the fixings.  And maybe even later, I'll have a third round of the fixings.  And don't get me started on the leftovers on Friday.

2.  Family.  I actually do love my family.  The annoying ones are fun to watch and silently judge.  I'm such an ass, it doesn't bother me when they demand their way.  The loved ones I get to be with and enjoy.  The funny ones make me laugh and laugh along with my humor.  I just love family.

3.  Football.  There's always a game or two on Thanksgiving (or three this year).  What's great about the role football plays is how it prevents awkward silences.  It keeps things moving throughout the day.  Whether it's that time after the family sports competition or between meals or desserts, there's always a game on somewhere to break-up those times where we all run out of things to share with our family.

4.  Freedom.  This F-Word is a stretch, but it stands for the freedom in Thanksgiving to just enjoy the day without the stresses tradition brings in other holidays, where gift giving is required and expected.  Thanksgiving beats Christmas out in my holidays ranking list because I don't have to work on gift ideas for everyone I'm going to see.  The freedom to just enjoy the day and the people and the nourishment is what I love about Thanksgiving.

So here's my point:  ENJOY THANKSGIVING.  Be thankful for food, family, football, and freedom.  What more can we all be thankful for than these things.  What a great holiday.  What a great time of the year.

(For my Christian friends worried I'm not thankful for God's provision and in love with Christmas because we can celebrate Christ...settle down ya zealots.  The Father and Faith are also F-Words.)

Why "iPhone 5" Is The Wrong Choice

On March 3, 2012 I predicted, based on a very reasonable explanation made by my friend Jason, that the sixth generation iPhone would be called "iPhone LTE" or "iPhone 6". I took that prediction one step further and bet another friend, techyted, a Starbucks coffee it would be so; he bet it would be called "iPhone 5".  I lost that bet when Apple named its sixth generation incorrectly (based on my logic) as "iPhone 5".  Really the bet was that it would be called "iPhone LTE", based on the fact that Apple had to include the LTE antenna technology to stay competitive, and would name it such to highlight this much needed speed boost in antenna speed.  With the second generation iPhone taking the name "iPhone 3G" to highlight the inclusion of the 3G antenna, which was really the only complaint first generation iPhone users had, "iPhone LTE" seemed a smart name for this sixth generation iPhone.  It would also allow Apple to skip 5, since the "iPhone 4S" was the name of the fifth generation iPhone.  Let me break down the naming vs generations from the beginning.

The first iPhone was called "iPhone", which made perfect sense since it was the first phone to be called that (well technically that's not true either, but that's a whole other story). The second iPhone was not called "iPhone 2" however, because Apple wanted to clarify it had added a faster cellular antenna system; they called it "iPhone 3G", helping market the fix of the first generation's biggest flaw. When the third generation iPhone arrived, Apple simply added an "s" to the second generation's name to exclaim its speedier innards. This also allowed for the number 3 to be in the third generation's name of "iPhone 3Gs".

Then came the fourth generation of the popular phone and it was simply called "iPhone 4". That seemed to make perfect sense because by that point we all got the point. It was the next iPhone, and this was the fourth one. But, when Apple introduced the fifth iPhone, they went back to adding an "s" because it was a faster 4. Although this followed some of the previous naming processes Apple had used, it wasn't where I would have gone because now it's like saying, "Hey everybody, you are all right in thinking Apple doesn't do everything it can to advance to the next level with each release of its products. We slow play our ideas so we can extend just enough each year to make you think about upgrading. We don't do everything our billions of dollars in reserves could to bring you exciting and new ideas. We go just far enough to make you think it's better. The 's' stands for 'slightly' better."

That brings us to the announcement of the sixth iPhone generation. This phone was predicted to have LTE cellular antenna technology; and it does. To market that addition, it seemed logical to me to continue naming the generations with the latest and greatest improvements to the device. The speed increase is one we've been waiting for. "iPhone LTE" made the most sense to me, in sticking with the Apple naming method which touts the phone's most recent improvements. Apple could call it the "iPhone 4 inch" to tout the screen size, but it might be confusing with previous name choices. If not "LTE" then a return to the simple generational name "6" seemed to make some sense because this wasn't the fifth generation. "5" didn't seem to make any common sense, with this being the sixth generation. Really, I can see how "6" would have be confusing, since the number 4 is in the fifth generation's name already. Im sure people would ask, "Where did 5 go?" But to clarify two more things to avoid the pending arguments I'm sure to create: If the first iPhone was a "beta" phone, making the 3G "1", iPhone 4 would have been "iPhone 3". And, if the pattern is to add an "s" to every other year, as the body doesn't change, 5 still doesn't make since because there have only been four body styles (or three if you consider the first iPhone just a beta phone).

So, why not call it 6? Besides the obvious confusion that would be caused by skipping the number 5, this IS the sixth generation of the phone. It would also be simple to match it up with sixth major update to the OS, which Apple announcement will ship with iPhone 5. And while they were at it, Apple announced their newest processor too. The "A6" chip was announced, which brings faster processing and graphics to this sixth generation iPhone. It almost seems too perfect.  Oh, but there it is.  iPhone 6 running iOS 6 on an A6 chip. Too many 6's in a row for big, evil Apple to reveal its true self.  You win fanboys. You win.

One more thing: if they continue to increase by one number every two year, adding an 's' to every other, the iPhone 10 pictured above will be the sixteenth generation. 10 is 16. 10-16. That's the radio code for "pick up prisoner". Do you see what that means people? Do you?

I Won The Lottery. Now What Am I Going To Do?

WARNING!!!  This became a really long and probably boring post.  I quit trying to spell and grammar check too.  It was just not worth the effort.  Sorry in advance. Also, avoid the ads this story may generate on my site.  I'm sure they are going to be about winning the Lottery or something like it.  Nobody wins.  Nobody.

  - James Guhn

Have you ever dreamed about what you'd do if you won the lottery?  I'm sure we all have.  Are you the type of person who is sure you are going to win it in the future?   Maybe "as soon as God feels like you can handle the responsibility"?  Most people who do win, can't handle the wealth in a responsible way.  Most people over spend, over extend, and put themselves in a place where their cost of living exceeds the amount they can earn.  Many even have to file bankruptcy to get things "back to normal".  Most of them can't get passed the greed lust to realize the taxes, upkeep, and the future costs of their spending and purchases.

Anyway, I would like to win, despite those problems and the Bible's warning about riches.  I'm one of those fools who thinks I can manage it, live similarly to how I live now, and still recognize the need for a Savior.   Would I give it all to charity?  NO.  Would there be many selfish purchases of excess?  Yes!  But, my theory really is that, for the most part, my life wouldn't change much, and if it did change in a Spiritual way, it would be for the better because I'd have more time to read the Bible, write about the Bible, write songs about God, record those songs, publish those songs, and promote those songs about God to the masses.  People who know me well, also understand I have a few desired items, but most of my joy comes from being the guy who can "picks up the bill" at a dinner or entertain guests with an exiting evening full of food and laughter.  I'm not so much about possessions as I am about the appreciation felt by doing something for another person.  I'll do anything to make people laugh...to my own detriment.  Don't get me wrong, I do know I'm an ass, but most of the time it's either my frustration with people's total lack of common sense, or I'm trying to make someone laugh at the expense of others.

So what would I spend my millions on?  (Oh yeah, and we're talking lots of millions.  Like hundreds of millions in this dream post).  My first purchase would be something for driving.  Currently the list would probably include an Audi A8, Q7, or R8.  Or all 3.  Right now those are my favorites.

 I'd, of course, buy a house, or more likely, property to build my dream home on.  I'd want enough land to build a driving course too (more on that in a minute).  I'd want to take vacations to Hawaii.  I'd hire someone to go on that vacation to watch the kids (applications will be accepted from friends too so, be thinking of what qualifies you to go).  I'd find a very safe investment where the interest earned would be enough for a normal salary, let's say $80k to $100k per year.  This investment would be the "untouchable" portion of the winnings, set aside to pay me for the rest of my life.  Sure, it's not going to be earning as much as the money could possibly earn in more aggressive investing, but at this point wealth is not the goal.  I'm already there.

But that's really the list of purchases for myself.  A house with property.  A few of my favorite vehicles.  Vacation.  And a few safe investments, including money for my kids colleges and their own needs (and a few wants).  The rest, I'd want to us doing things for others.  Now, I'm not talking charity type stuff.  I'm not trying to sound giving and like I'd suddenly be this super loving guy.  I'd actually be really cautious and steer clear of almost all charity style giving.  I don't trust most of them.  I'm really referring to friends and family giving.  I'd take care of those close to me, the ones I love and care about.  Sure, I'd support my church, but mostly I'd become physically involved at church, seeing how I wouldn't need a job.  I'd volunteer for programs and projects, get back into music, maybe teach some.  But the no job thing leads me to my next points.

I'd want to continue in some line of work.  Some days I think I'd go back into law enforcement.  Other days I think something simple and mindless like a bank teller would be nice.  Today I actually thought about a "stay at home" position with the bank, were I work a phone, answering operational questions for branches all over the country.  But here is how I see these jobs working out:

Law Enforcement Job

The law enforcement job works out where, I'd want to purchase my own car.  Currently I'd look at the Dodge Charger since the Crown Victoria is all but gone, although recently I heard my old agency may be going with the Chevy Tahoe.  I'd have it painted in the scheme of the hiring agency.  I'd outfit it with all the latest and greatest technology, including all the upgraded hardware and software available to work with existing systems.  I'd also eventually invest time and money into bringing the agency's hardware and software up to modern specs as well.  I would require a paid position and union protections, but the salary would not be the concern.  Mainly, I'd want all the available protections afforded officers of the law, from the public and criminals who may want to take from me and my winnings to satisfy their own greed.  I would not ask for pay during the training portion of the job, but I'd wait until I was a stand alone officer, to allow the agency and other officers time to see my commitment to taking criminals to jail, making people feel safe, and being involved in the community (is that not the perfect cop answer?).

After establishing myself in the job and proving I am a hard working officer, willing to do the same tasks as anyone else, I would work on things that can make doing the job more efficient, safe, and productive.
From my short time on patrol, my first thought here is a system within the cars that makes it easier, safer, and quicker to gain information on a call, a suspect, or a vehicle, etc. that an officer is involved with.  Also, I'd work to upgrade all the communications systems throughout the given agency, so there are not areas within the jurisdiction where communication is a problem.  I'd work on the report writing system and dispatching system to create seamless transfer of information, creating templates for many of the reoccurring crime reports, so that completion of the report is quicker, more straight forward, and to the point.  In car report writing systems could be created with pre-populated information and drop-down cells to help quickly and accurately write a report.  Agency wide networking would allow for officers to access the information anywhere.

My home driving course (on the land I referenced earlier) would be set up to facilitate training and ongoing refresher courses for safe officer Emergency Vehicle Operations Course requirements, and additional quality vehicle operations.  I would design a course that allowed for fast driving, winding road courses, and other intense conditions, such as wet pavement and slide control training.  I would spend time and money on my own skills to properly prepare me to train officers in pursuit and code 3 driving.  I'd offer access to the officers at free or reduced costs so they could continue to practice and hone their skills on their own time.  I'd also offer the course and equipment to the agency to facilitate required training mandates.  I'd provide the vehicles, with the same specifications as the agency's fleet.  I'd also provide an area for shooting practice and arrest control technique training.  My property would be a virtual academy for law enforcement training.

Bank Job

I would have nothing to learn if I went the bank teller route  As a teller, I'd spend all my time talking to customers and running their simple transactions.  I'd want to do this in a place where there is high traffic, not so I'm busy all the time, but because the only challenge for a bank teller is to keep people happy while moving them through a large line and offering them products and services that might benefit them.  I can do all the duties of a bank teller in my sleep...sometimes I did.  Really, I'd take this job as a millionaire, simply for the ability to entertain customers, without any responsibility except fulfilling their banking requests.  Mindless? Yes.  But I'd also have the interaction with people I'd need to allow me an opportunity to entertain.

If I went toward an operation support position, something called Retail Support where I work, it would allow me to use my current knowledge of policies and procedures, along with the ability to refine, revise, and possibly write policies. I've been doing this already in a limited scope but in past with major impact, writing policies, creating forms, and providing access and training.  Still today, I am emailed often from people all over the company looking for revised or electronic versions of my forms and handouts.  I'd love to have a more connected role to the current policy writers and be more involved in the processes that shape how things are done within the company.  I'd look at combining the efforts of the policy writers with those of the training department, to more completely offer the correct processes to follow.

Of course, even without the lottery winnings, this job would be awesome.  But, by winning the Lottery millions, I'd do it in a capacity that allowed me to be part time and home based.

Conclusion to Crazy Talk
So, I wrote this to talk about my wants, but it really made me think about what I want to do with myself.  In reality, winning the Lottery is probably not going to happen and the law enforcement thing is probably too much of a drastic life change with too many unknown variables.  But the Retail Support thing is really what I want to do.  I really want to do it in the capacity of someone who can make the changes happen.  What would that require?  I'm not sure.  How does anyone become a mover and a shaker in a huge company like mine?  These are the questions that, if answers, can lead to great success.  I'm the type that doesn't feel uncomfortable asking the successful how they managed to make it happen, but I know often times there are people who feel threatened by people who push themselves forward aggressively (it's challenged me more than once).  I've always been good at the jobs I've held,  and if I wasn't good at something, I made the required changes to make success happen.  I'll conclude with these thoughts:

1.  I need to pursue what I love.
2.  I need to look harder from the outside in at what that pursuit needs to be.
3.  I need to make the moves to make it happen without feeling like it's going to takes winning the Lottery.

So, I really didn't win the lottery, but if I did....yeah, it'd be some stuff on this list for sure.

The Baby Birds That Fell From The Tree

The Nest

I arrived home to my awaiting family this evening, greeted at the door by my two beautiful boys, kissed by my wife and welcomed home from my long day at work.  My wife had prepared the dinner, and all but the meat was ready for consumption.  I knew my grilling expertise would be required for the handmade burger patties waiting on a plate.  I needed to fire up my barbecue.  As I opened the sliding glass door leading to the patio, I hear a scratching noise coming from some boxes.  The boxes, left over from the bunk beds we build last weekend for my boys, were stacked against the fence line of the patio.  I cautiously approached the boxes, not sure what I was going to find trapped within.  I carefully peered into one of the boxes and saw a little bird, which I assumed was unable to fly out due to the narrow walls and the depth of the box it was in.

I decided, in case it was sick or injured to the point of an impending death, I would lift the box over the fence and dump the bird onto the soft bushes on the other side.  This would also allow the bird to perch atop the bushes for an easier takeoff, once the shock of the ordeal wore off.  What I didn't notice was the large hole at the top of the box, which caused the little bird to fall out of the box and into my arms, and then onto my patio slab.  It hopped around the patio, scared and searching for a safe place to hide from me.  (Now, I'm not going to lie.  I let out a little sound that any good, startled person would emit.  Okay, I slightly screamed.)

I ran casually strolled into the house to tell my wife what had just happened.  I formed a plan of how to get this little bird out of my tiny backyard.  I decided to use a broom, not to push the little thing, but to guide the bird out of the side gate and onto the sidewalk.  The plan worked perfectly.  The little bird found its way into the landscaping in front of our residence.  And then, the most amazing thing happened.  The mother bird arrived.  It was then that I realized this little bird was actually a baby, who had fallen from its nest.  The mother began calling to the baby bird as though to say, "Spread your wings little one.  Fly.  Fly."  The moment was almost precious, nature at its purest.

Nature at its purest

I ran into the house again, this time to tell my family of the little storybook scene unfolding in front of our home.  The boys ran to the front window to watch.  My wife gently reminded me of my original purpose for going to the patio.  I decided to sneak another peak at the reunited baby and its mother, of course, after I started the grill.

As I approached the grill and began to remove its cover, I could hear myself screaming again found myself startled again.  Another baby bird was on the patio, this time waiting to jump out at me as I removed the cover from my grill.  This little one knew the escape route and took it, passing my jumpy legs and heading for the hole under the gate and on to the freedom its sibling found.  The mother bird screeched at this little one too.  "Fly children. Fly," she said.  She hopped up, and adding a quick thrust of her wings, landed herself on the lowest branch of a tree.  "See children, it's that easy.  Try it.  You can do it," she was diligently calling to them.  She knew it was not safe down on the ground.  "Squawk Squawk"!  She showed them a few more times.  God's creation is amazing.

Where's Waldo?  There are two birds in this picture.  Can you find them?

Realizing I needed to cook up some amazing burgers (which I know were amazing because I'm writing this hours after eating them.  It's not bragging if it's true), I turned and started the grill.  While it warmed and I began to comprehend the horror that will ultimately become those baby birds' last day if they don't get the flying thing down, I realized I'd better go wash my hands before I touch any of the burger patties my wife so lovingly prepared for our dinner, you know, just in case I got bird on me.

I think the moral is clear here.  Have a point to your stories or you'll just end it with everyone wanting to wash their hands of you.  So good night, and thanks for reading.


Tweet

The Awkward Guess of When The Impending Judgement Day WILL Happen (and Why I'm Still Scared)

I was talking to my wife a few days ago about the whole "Judgement Day" thing and, although this post is a little late to the game, it's really a chance to express my own thoughts from the past few days. The idea that some man "figured out" the day God is going to fulfill His promise to return to earth for His people, using the same Bible that has verses like Matthew 24:36, is ridiculous.  I actually told my wife, it wasn't going to happen, based solely on the fact that he predicted a date and time. If "...no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father only," then any time someone says, "Yeah I know when it's going to happen," you can bet it will not be that day.

But that's not really my point in writing this post. I did some reflecting on my own life and what a nightmare, joke, sham, ridiculous mess it is, compared to the life the Bible directs a believer to live. After all, our example is the life of Jesus Christ, who was (besides perfect) compassionate, faithful, a servant, a leader, knowledgable of the things of God, a prayer, a studier, a teacher, solely focused on satisfying God's will for His life.  Even on the cross, at the point where God was going to turn His back on Jesus and place all our sins on Him He said, "Not my will but Yours be done."  And, I'm more realistic to what REAL LIFE is like these days. I mean, the longer I live and the more I experience, the clearer the picture of our desperation and absolute need for God's grace becomes. I never believed a sinless life was possible, but I did think, at one point, I was doing okay.  But, more and more I understand the recognition of our depravity is important, and the pain sin causes is required for us to comprehend just how much grace and mercy are crucial for us to spend eternity in Heaven verses Hell.  I don't think it is ever going to be possible to feel qualified for Heaven, and if we do, we are probably living a lie, but I am so miserably unhappy with my current Spiritual place, I am becoming more honest with my own "disgustingness" as a creator created by God and realizing my desperation for His grace on either Judgement Day or the day he takes me home.

Here comes the BUT in this, for my Christian friends who are thinking I am justifying sin. I know I am still called to live a life that is holy, blameless, and pure. I just think the holy life of a sinful creator proves to be much harder than most Christians pretend it to be. I often think about the Holy Spirit's role here, and wonder if I'm completely ignoring His prompting and cautions for me to avoid sin, or I'm I not able to hear them because my sinful life is the true evidence of a lack of salvation. OH CRAP, that scares me. If I really think about eternal separation from God, it makes me want to puke. I hate my sin. I hate that I am often consumed by it or overpowered by the temptation to be involved in it. And the fact that it seeks me out and draws me into itself is a horror film playing out its plot in my life.

So what can I do? I can turn to God, His Word, and His people for support. I can flee from the advances of sin. I can pluck out my eyes or cut off the parts that lead me to sin (Matthew 18:9, 5:29, Mark 9:47). Only, I feel I've done that last one in the past (jail job), and yet I continue to fall back into the same negative disgusting life. Why? Why am I drawn to the very thing I do not want? And why I'm I not running toward the very thing I know I need? God gives us all we need to be successful as His children, but I turn towards selfish gain and self desire instead of purity and holiness found in Him and His word. Granted, there is nothing we can do to earn our salvation, but we are still called to live holy, pure, and without blame.

So, there is either Hell or Heaven. One I can achieve on my own, living in the nature of my sin. The other I long for, but can only achieve apart from myself and that nature. One takes no effort. The other takes a life time of selflessness and God's grace. And, although I believe that we all earn Hell, I can not earn the Heaven I so desperately long for. Not without Christ. Not without the sacrifice of God's Son. Not without the WILL of God being such, that He placed all the eternal penalty for my sin onto His blameless Son to bare the price to free me from myself. I am nothing, but I will suffer forever for my nothingness if I don't trust in the Lord with all my heart, and lean not on my own understanding. I am called to acknowledge Him in all my ways, and He will direct my path and make it straight (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Oh God, I cry out to You. Renew me, forgive me, oh God. Make me whole in You. Give me joy only Your truth can give. Make me love, like only You can love. Give me peace and patience in this world. Help me trust in you. Direct my path.
 

Tweet

We Have Only One Reason To Exist

I don't really know how to sound intelligent or deep. I'm a super opinionated person, with nothing really to say. I read all sorts of blogs and Internet sites trying to gain knowledge on things that will make me sound like I know what I'm talking about, but I don't really know anything about the important things of life. Well, there is one exception to that.  I actually know the most important thing in life.  But I don't live like I do, or share that knowledge.  If fact, most of the time I live and act and speak like I don't know this crucial truth to our existence. I know there is a deep and critical purpose for our lives. I know this purpose brings hope and joy. I know that, without understanding this purpose, besides the eternal damnation we face apart from this truth, our lives will be lived hopeless and frustrated, filled with hated, anger, and emptiness. The crazy thing is, even with this knowledge in my own head, I live in a negative place right now.  And this is because we are not called to merely understand this purpose, but we are told to live it.

I turned 35 last week and I've started to take a look at my life, maybe for the first time. I've been looking at where I came from, where I am, what I've accomplished, and what I've set as goals. I started my life in a loving family, where I was raised, protected, and guided in the knowledge of God. I grew into an involved member of the Church, playing music in worship services, leading small group discussions, working on my own relationship with God, studying the Bible, and trying to live my life to please God.  Currently, my life is a joke.  There is nothing in it that resembles a life lived in faith. Sure, I go to church on Sundays where one of the most dynamic preacher I've ever heard teaches, I teach my kids about God, I pray with them, I even pray (mostly plead) on my own, but there is no living by faith. My wife and I have had our share of tragic happenings, from medical things and deaths in the family to financial and job related trials, but our prayers and requests for God's help and guidance are far and few between. We don't live in faith. We don't live as though we understand our purpose for existence.

I am a huge failure. I place a lot of the responsibility for my wife's spiritual maturity on my own shoulders.  I should be leading this family into meaningful, deep, real, solid relationships with God.  Instead, I'm the one that is to angry and frustrated at the outcome of my life this far to be a positive force in this family.  As someone who was raised in the church, with lots of access to the Bible and teachers and examples of God pleasing people, i should lovingly lead my wife and kids into God's light and grace. I have the chance to show them God's grace and love, and that our purpose is to enjoy glorify Him. But I'm selfish, frustrated, sinful, and horrible. I don't bring God glory with my own life, so how can I teach my family to do the same?  After 8+ years together, how is it my wife is still a baby Christian and I've now become someone who doesn't even resemble one at all?

Knowledge is nothing without actions. Just like James 2:19 says "even the demons believe - and shudder".  It's not knowledge of God that saves. It takes faith in our need for Jesus. We must give up self control.  We MUST realize we can never be good enough on our own.  Apart from God, we are nothing.  Our purpose is to glorify God, who is the Creator of all things.  He gave us free will, and then a Savior to save us from ourselves.  Think of it like this: we are called to go out into the world and reveal God to those we meet.  But it we don't know God ourselves, who can we share Him with others?  I need to wake up and live this knowledge.  I am nothing apart from God.  I deserve eternal damnation because of my sins.  And without God's Son, Jesus, I'd be there.  But by the grace of God, I am saved from these sins by the perfect lamb, sacrificed for me.  Now I have only one reason to exist: I MUST GLORIFY GOD!

Sunday Is Not For Church

It has become almost a regular habit lately for my family to miss church. We haven't gone for some weeks now because of sick kids. First Caleb. Then Ryan. And now both. But is it really because of the kids?

I've talked for a while about my own spiritual life being in the dumps. My past involvement in church kept me accountable to being at church, living with a level of responsibility to my own witness, and a feeling of correctness and freedom to call myself a Christian. But the place I'm in now leads me to question whether I was fooling myself before or if I've just fallen into a depression over the depravity of man.

Selfishness, corruption, laziness, popularity, the "cool factor", modern, fun, easy, comfortable, friendly, politically correct; these are things that make me so mad about both our society and the church. Mankind is disgusting. Why God would want to die for us, I can not
understand.

Sent from my iPhone

Top Gear USA On The History Channel...and A Rant About Internet Video Availability

First, let me tell the History Channel people that they need to free up some of the video on their site.  I wanted to embed a video of an awesome, hilarious, and super entertaining scene from an episode, but they didn't allow the video to be embedded.  Why not have some of the scenes or episodes available for embedding?  I'd be free advertisement.  Check out a small portion of the episode here.

Anyway, the episode (#3) I just watched using my DVR so I could skip commercials, earning The History Channel $0.00, had a bootlegger challenge with the hosts.  The 3 hosts each had to buy a car for $1,000 (I think) and run moonshine through a set of challenges that were designed to mimic the challenges the original moonshiners faced.  This episode was really funny and amazing to watch.

I actually want to support the show.  I want the morons at the History Channel to realize they hurt themselves by not having web content of their shows.  Embedding and allowing a site like Hulu to stream episodes is a great way to continue to make money off of the show.  AND, web content makes me watch at least one commercial every break.  You can also set up embedded codes that first play a commercial before playing the clip.  This seems like a no brainer to me.

This is actually about to start a rant on how all the major networks keep pulling away from the Internet, streaming, embedding codes, and even the Google TV idea.  Why?  This doesn't seem like its a good business idea.  A site like Hulu forces the viewers to watch commercials.  Currently, I use a DVR to watch TV.  I never watch live TV because I refuse to watch commercials.  The Internet figured out a way to make me watch them again.  But, it's done in a bearable way.  The streaming sites make you watch one commercial at the beginning, which matches the other ads on the site.  Then for longer shows or videos, they add just one commercial per break.  It's short and sweet, and I do watch them.  Currently, the sites Funny or Die and Fail Blog are playing commercials for the Duramax Diesel engine and the Allison transmission that are in the Chevy Silverado.  SEE History Channel?  That's from embedded videos and streaming content.  See that major networks?  That sponsor got their money's worth.  If the Internet was utilized, advertisers would see the rewards from views.  This would drive the cost of Internet advertising up and the networks could charge more for this type of ad, MAKING THEM MORE MONEY.  Instead, every network thinks they can do it better than the next.  No one is seeing the benefit of using a site like Hulu to be the go to Internet place for video.  And don't get me started on Netflix.

Well, there's my spontaneous rant.  I really just wanted to tell my readers to watch Top Gear USA.  It's actually pretty good, even if the hosts are all really cheesy.  Night!

Tweet

If I Was CEO...Introduction

This is an introduction to a new series I'm going to start called, "If I Was Were CEO...".  Now, right off I have a problem.  Which is grammatically correct:

If I Was CEO...

or

If I Were CEO...

Microsoft Word couldn't tell me which is the grammatically correct way of saying this.  I just asked Grammar Girl so stay tuned for the response.

Anyway, I'm going to try and write a series of blogs about what I would do if I were CEO of a given company.  I hope to spark some discussions so feel free to comment.  I love all 3 of you who do read and comment.


UDPATE:  I finally got a response back from Grammar Girl.  I had to change the series to "If I Were CEO". 

A Blog Post About Nothing

I know that there aren't many of you who read my blog, so it's not really important what I write.  I really only have a blog because I like to practice writing, I love having a place to share interesting (at least to me) stories and information, and because it's a way to pass the time.  I'm literally sitting here with nothing to write about.  I figured I would start typing and see where it led.  I have such a random thought process; I figure either something interesting will come out of this or I will get to laugh at the fact that someone read it and completely wasted their time.

I did pass the old Mervyn's on Blue Oaks today and saw that someone has stolen my idea to turn it into a theater.  The sign said a 16 plex is going in called "The Blue Oaks Cinema."  16 sounds like too many for the building, but I'm excited for another theater.  I wish them well in my venture.  I don't have the capital necessary to do anything with my hair brained ideas.

Speaking of hair brained ideas: I have a few of my own.  I would love to open a sports bar and grill type place.  I've talked about it for 8+ years now.  Originally, my old roommate and I talked at length about a Dave and Busters in Roseville.  Ryan and I even went as far as looking into the franchise requirements, which at that time were either not available or way too expensive for us.  And now there is a D&B in Roseville, although it's too small and poorly laid out.  It's definitely not like other D&B's I've been in.  (or should I have said, "in which I've been"?)

I started this new thing, I didn't want to start, where I don't want to end my sentences with prepositions.  It started with a TV show I watched ( I think it was House, which has become a favorite), and now I keep trying not to end sentences with them.  Of course, I just found a site where the illegal use of prepositions at the end of sentences is mostly dispelled.  Visit my new favorite grammar helping site (mostly because the article is read to me by the writer as a Podcast directly on the site).  Here is Grammar Girl telling us it's okay to end a sentence with a preposition.

Anyway, that's enough for now, mostly because my wife finished her work and I can now watch another syndicated episode of House.

Madman Jim The Movie...Rant

(First, I wanted to get all of this out and post it, but I did not proof it, spell check it, or review its content for inappropriate information or language. Read at your own risk, as you should always read Jimmy the Gun. And now, another exciting rant from James Guhn.

Madman Jim is a character that is part of the evolution of Jimmy the Gun. Some day I'll have the technology to create a video of some of the highlights of Jim and where the name came from. For now, I wanted to tell you all about a movie idea I had, based on the Madman Jim character. To better explain, I'll do a quick recap of how I became Jimmy the Gun.

First, back in 1989-90, some friends and I made a music video to a song that currently escapes me. We had no editing equipment. We had a home Video 8 camera, which we used to record ourselves running around, we had a VHS recording VCR, and we used a CD playing stereo to connect to the VCR for music overlay on the audio tracks of the video. We would film an entire 4 or 5 minute video and set it to music, thus making it a "music video". At one point in one of our videos, my friend Ryan yelled out, "Get'em Jim," to my character, and I chased down a thief. We all thought the line was so funny, we had to leave it in the video. This required unplugging the stereo, plugging in the audio line from the camera for the one line, and then reconnecting the stereo for the remaining music. "Jim" was born.

Over the course of 20 years, "Get'em Jim" turned into nickname/username/email aliases for me. Variations of "Jim", from "Jimbo" to "Jimbob" and finally "Jimmy the Gun" (formally known as "James Guhn") led me to this blog. Home videos technology progressed to the point where editing equipment and software were eventually used and the "Madman Jim" series started. There have been two different Madman Jim videos, both of which I actually enjoy being the star. The character is loosely based of the Michael Douglas character from the movie Falling Down. This was one of my favorite twisted movies in high school. I loved the almost justified anger of the character. I loved the fact that he didn't take anyone's crap and didn't back down; instead he dealt with the issues.

All of this history leads me to my movie idea. I want to write a movie based on my Madman Jim character. I want to take the frustration of every day life to a level where Jim snaps and begins to deal with these frustrations. My idea is to follow him from the time just before the actual snap, where we see that Jim is like the rest of us as he deals with increasingly more and more frustrations. Traffic, bad drivers, car problems, fake sincerity, laws, the government, technology...all these things are shown for their annoying traits and Jim finally snaps. He begins by telling people what he really thinks. It progresses to actions against the frustrations, ultimately turning into an all out crazy rampage that leads him to deal with the things that cause the frustrations in the manner in which they irritate Jim.

The movie would be similar to road rage on steroids. The jerk who cuts Jim off in traffic or drives slow in the fast lane without moving right is dealt with in a violent, clear way. The car that keeps breaking down is driven off a cliff to explode on top of the heads of the people who wrote the helmet law (how is that law necessary? Let the idiots kill themselves). The horrible waiter who can't seem to do anything right get's upset with Jim for filing a formal complaint with the manager. Jim teaches the waiter about getting the order right by cramming a whole onion down the throat of the waiter. The seat belt law is another waste of tax payers money. Lesson taught. The people trying to say juice shouldn't be allowed in daycare because it makes the kids fat, are forced to drink and ultimately drown in a pool of apple juice, while wearing a fat suit. The people suing McDonald's over the Happy Meal toys causing their kids to get fat, are taking out to a field and thrown into a pit of toys being crushed my a monster truck.....I don't know. Deal with them Jim!

The point of the movie is to address all the stupidity of our lives. The point of the movie is to cause people to be aware of the fact that our nation is not a free nation. We are all sheep being led by horrible leaders that make money from lobbyists, or who decide that laws need to be written so we don't have to think for ourselves. If your kids are fat cows, stop feeding them McDonald's. GO FOR A WALK! Eat an apple. Eat an apple and go for a walk and be slapped for being a pig. Parents parent. Government shrink. People think. Be real. Be honest. Work hard. Do your job. Care about what you do, who you are being, and where you are going. Get out of the way. Don't be annoying. Stop the greed.

"Madman Jim"'s mission is for a better place to live, a better way of life, and knowing how to be a better member of society.

Now, if you've made it this far through the rant, you must be bored. But, here is a message about reality. Because we are all selfish creatures, out to better our position at any cost, this "better place to live" crap I just mentioned will never happen. Socialism will eventually take over our republic, as we are represented by thieves, crooks, shysters, and evil doers. Our "representative" government actually represents the level of greed and self promotion we all have in us. So in that regard, they are doing a great job. As far as doing the will of the people, meaning the greater group of us as a whole, they are not doing so hot. Instead, the desires of the few are satisfied with back room deals, BS spending and taxing added to every law that's passed, and evil, evil men leading our country down a dark path of destruction. This is where the hope in God comes into play. Without a glimpse of hope in God, must realize the dire place we are headed toward.

"Madman Jim" is here to point us to the breaking point; to help us realize where our country is head, and where our sin and self glorification is going to lead us in the end. Madman Jim is ready to destroy the insanity that is our daily lives. He's here to rid us of the frustrations and return us to a level of calmness we can only hope for any more. He is here to send a message to the people in charge that the people are to be represented, not the special interests, the squeaky wheels, and he losers living off the laws of the land. Jim is here to beat down the worst, and build up the best.

Facebook is Losing Another User (Update)

UPDATE: I found out that Facebook asked me to "Register" my computer because I had asked to be alerted when new devices are used to log into my Facebook account. Oops! I guess I'll stay a little while longer. Well, Facebook is going to be losing me as a user. Today I attempted to log into FB and this message popped up:

Click Image to Enlarge

And there is no way around it. This is absolutely retarded. I don't want to register my computer with Facebook. I'm out people. I'm following Techy Ted and moving strictly to Twitter. Another thing that bugs me is the fact that it tries to add other people to follow or "friend" based on your interests or job history. I want to shoot myself for ever putting anything about work up there, because not I can't even remove it. In job history it doesn't show that I've put in anything, but it sure wants to add my previous employers' profile to the list of people I "like". So, see you later jerks. Here's the link if you want to join me in ending your account too. Thanks Techy Ted.

Apple is Greedy. Must Be Run by Liberals.

I think that Gizmodo made some bad choices, but Apple, Inc. is just a big jerk about the whole leaked 4th Generation iPhone thing. Apparently, some sort of police investigation is under way. Whether that means Apple filed a crime report or not, I think Apple should use this as a marketing opportunity, instead of another attack on the people. See the story at TUAW. And because I think this is a well written article, take a look at the TUAW's post about the potential crimes and suits that could be filed against Gizmodo from Apple, Inc. and The State of California as a result of the leaked 4th generation iPhone. I have a real love/hate relationship with Apple, Inc. I love their products, their designs, their way of moving beyond what the other guys are doing to make some of the best technology products in the world. I hate their business model, their weak customer connection once a product is launched, the fact that they slow play everything from updates in hardware and software to establishing alliances with other companies, and the way it seems they believe they have everything figured out already and are just not letting us have it yet. The iPhone came out and amazed the world. It was the most user friendly, feature rich, powerful and fast, cell phone in the world. Of course, instantly people started to notice missing features. Hackers quickly plugged these holes with a hacked phone called jailbroken. But Apple, Inc. did nothing to answer these request from consumers for over a year. They had a small software upgrades or two, and then the iPhone 3G came out. This model fixed the cell network speed issues, but did little for the phones feature set. Meanwhile, hacked or jailbroken phones had many of the desired features (namely the cut and paste feature). Only then, after over a year and 2 models, did Apple start to update the software with features people wanted. The iPhone 3GS came out a year after that and Apple added more requested features to this new model. But some of the features weren't supported on the older models of the iPhone. Apple claimed the older phones couldn't handle the new features, even though jailbroken iPhone users were able to use many of these features. Now OS 4.0 has been announced and Apple is again bringing features that people have wanted for years now. They also announced that some of the features won't work on the earlier models. And, Apple will no longer support the first generation iPhone. So what I'm trying to get to is that Apple is all about the money; which I'm sure makes some people happy, but I think their business model could be tweeked a bit and they'd make as much or more money. Here is what I think: 1. Introduce the product the way you always have. Do the big surprise reveal like always, talking about this most "revolutionary" product, and show the slide show with most of the great features of the device. 2. Bring the product to the market. After the big reveal, continue to bring the product to market at the scheduled release date, sell the crap out of the product, talk about how wonderful sales are and about the fact that you are doing so great. Tell us all about how you have the most amazing whatever, blah, blah, etc. etc. 3. Now it's time to LISTEN TO THE CONSUMERS. After the product is out for a while, start listening to the feedback. But don't just stick to the average Joe users. Start listening to the nerds, the experienced ones, the modifiers, the hackers, the bloggers who write all about your products and provide you with free advertising. Listen to the people! 4. DO WHAT THE PEOPLE ASK! Add the features. ALL THE FEATURES! Add these features the consumers and bloggers and nerds and experts are asking for. Don't introduce a few at a time. Jailbreak an Apple owned iPhone, look at some of the great features that are available, recreate them only better, and make it the next model or the next OS release. Make your phone the best by miles. 5. STOP THINKING ABOUT HOW YOU CAN MAKE MORE MONEY IF YOU DRAG OUT THE UPDATES OVER SEVERAL YEARS AND MODELS. Do everything the best you can now, and the people and your staff and the world will help you realize the next step. That's step #3. Make the next model the perfect phone, with everything you could think of and users talked asked told you about wanting. I know the consumers, bloggers, experts, and nerds are going to find more "stuff" they want the device to do for the next revision. PLAN THOSE FOR THE FOLLOWING MODEL or SOFTWARE UPDATE. 6. Stick to your set refresh/revise schedule. This is very helpful for consumers. If they know you are working on the next model and it will be out on a specific date, they will continue to buy from you. Right now, I'm waiting for that next generation iPhone. If the leaked 4th generation model is truly coming out in July, I may not make the switch to Android that I've been debating. 7. Market to, hear from, and love on, the buyers. When someone becomes an Apple customer, don't look at them as a person who you made money from, but think of them as someone you can continue to make money from. 8. Fix your arrogant image. Take a situation like the leaked 4th generation, and run with it. I believe this is a huge opportunity for Apple to look like the greatest company in the world. Many people who have been put off by the company's apparent arrogance would easily be won over if say, Steve and Gray showed up and revealed the phone together. Steve can make jokes at Gray's expense, making it clear that this was not what the company wanted, even clarifying that in the future this sort of thing could have bigger consequences for the involved parties but Apple is understanding of the mistake this time. By taking the "oops, I can't believe this happened but oh well" approach, Apple would seem sympathetic to Gray, caring about its customers, less worried about the almighty dollar, and become a company with a people focus as well as amazing products. Apple has an opportunity to make this a huge PR campaign. Final thought...I do believe the first generation iPhone did revolutionize the cell phone industry. Every mature cell phone company is still scrambling to find a form factor that can compete with the iPhone. But as the get closer and closer to the iPhone's first model, Apple could be designing the next revolution by building out the very best and most complete iPhone now. Inspiration will come from the perfect phone, leading to the next revolutionary device.

Pepsi Natural is Going "Bye-Bye" and Other Marketing Stuff (A JTG Rant)

I was at Target this week and a PepsiCo employee was there checking stock and shelf placement, and whatever they do to not help them sell soda better. Being the nerd that I am, I struck up a conversation with him about my love for Pepsi's products and my desire to work for PepsiCo. He said to me, "no you don't." What? I guess he is a commission based employee, which I would never want to be because goals are usually set at a point where reaching them is just shy of what is possible to reach for bonuses, and therefore, no money is made. This seemed to be his complaint. I did notice too many different sizes of cans and bottles, no Pepsi Natural, and just all around bad placement of the beverages. He also mentioned something about the Coca-Cola guy who also entered the isle. I quickly mentioned I hated Coke and he almost came to the rescue of the Coca-Cola guy. I felt like punching both of them after that. I asked him a few different questions about Pepsi and other flavors, but then I turned my focus to the fact that NO Pepsi Natural was on the shelves. He told me, it is done. Pepsi is not going to be selling it anymore. "What? That was a short run. And Pepsi did NO advertising anywhere for it," I told him. "Even Pepsi's own website doesn't mention Pepsi Natural." He told me they just try things and they are hit or miss. If it doesn't sell well right away, they pull it. It didn't seem right to me. I'm a huge Pepsi Natural fan. I mean, this is my favorite drink. I actually spend the extra money they charge for the glass bottled 4 packs of the stuff. And then I started thinking about how marketing people think they know sooo much about how to market products, companies, etc. For example, I had a great idea for my own employer. I believe they should use social networking sites, like Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube, to spread the word, for virtually free, to the world. Sure they would have to pay me a small salary to maintain the sites with current and relevant information about the company, ad campaigns, promotions, giveaways, etc., but I could do in for cheap. I wouldn't need an office. I wouldn't even need a computer really. I can practically do most of the required work from my phone (okay that might be pushing it a little, but don't pay some "marketing expert" moron 100K. Pay me 50K). This would be a great way to spread the word about the company, while at the same time, offering up solutions to problems, customer service help, and a way to control information about the company on the Internet. While on leave for a few weeks with a new baby, I set a meeting with the marketing people. These marketing geniuses basically didn't even let me explain my ideas. Instead, the president of marketing talked over me about how they were "already looking into this avenue of marketing" and "they were looking to hire someone who had experience in setting up this kind of site for a large company." So, in other words, my creative ideas after 9 plus years of experience with this company, would not be needed because some outside yahoo would be able to do it better; him with his marketing degree and all. I think what I'm getting at is: too often people go to school, are taught how to do things the teacher's way or the industries' standard way, given a degree that says, "you know marketing", and all the creative ideas of others are looked down upon or considered sub-par. My ideas come from experience, participation, and the observation of success in using these mediums. I look at what other LARGE companies are doing and how they make their followers, friends, and fans feel as though they are part of the company. I see that potential being wasted by the "marketing experts" of my company. The Mountain Dew Labs thing, for example; I'm not totally convinced I've had any impact on the design, look, name, or anything associated with flavor #231, but Mountain Dew made me feel like I did. They made me feel like I am part of their design team. I feel like I am part of the family. And that's what I see being the missed opportunity here. I spoke to two different customers this week about similar topics. One customer is a website designer. He told me he usually doesn't hire the college graduates who apply to his company because they design just like they were taught. There is no creativity in their designs, and they are often boring. The other customer was a retired marketing expert. He told me how the big corporate marketing jerks take the creativity of the little people and smash it to create the cookie cutter look that everyone else has. He talked about how the company he worked for was owned by a larger national company. When the larger parent company came in to "implement" the company's national message, they lost customers, jobs, and ultimately the whole smaller division, due to the lack of understanding their customers. Someone needs to take the little guy's ideas and let them run free. I think if my employer hired me to implement my social networking strategy, we would see almost instant gains in sales, recognition, and a nationwide acknowledgment of what the company is doing. We would be able to share our goals, products, position in the current market, and all the other strengths that make us one of the best in our industry. We would be able to show that we are the leading company in the nation, still doing business the same today as we did 5 years ago, before the current economic crisis. We are strong, secure, respected, and well funded to maintain a high level of quality service and products for our customers. These free marketing mediums would allow us to express our redefined focus on customer service and all the great products we offer both businesses and individuals. We could incorporate our national marketing campaigns with local focuses and successes throughout all our markets, products, and services. But back to my Pepsi Natural. Pepsi never even addressed that they made this stuff. It's no where to be found in any of their marketing. And it's sad because it is soooo good. Sure, they can't really talk about the fact that it's made with real cane sugar, making it easier for their consumers' bodies' to digest. They don't want to harm the sales of there biggest two beverage, Pepsi and Mountain Dew. But, why not talk about the "all natural ingredients" or the "original cola style taste" or the fact that it's stinking amazing, in a glass bottle, and a sophisticated grown-up soda? I'm so sad about Pepsi Natural. It really is good. People were not given a chance to try it. Maybe the marketing as natural threw off the masses. Instead, you marketing geniuses, try the "original cola styling" approach. That might get some more fans of old school stuff to try it. Look at the marketing success of the VW Beetle when it came back out. It's been awhile since I had a good rant, so here's one about marketing, Pepsi Natural, and college educated people sucking. HAHA. Maybe that's a little harsh. Sorry to those of you who went to college and think you are somehow smarter, or you who think the word "sucking" is as bad as any cuss word. I'm actually sad about my misfortune with the marketing people at my company. I know I would be good at it. I'm still passionate about it, and that means I care enough about it that I'd do really well at it. I'd enjoy my job too. But for now, I'll still work hard where I am.