1 Corinthians 7:1-9 continues on the topic of sex. Some in the church think that Paul will agree with them about abstaining from sex, because Paul is not married. But Paul tells them that not everyone has the self control and that this is a gift from God that he has. "But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another..."
I think that a lot of fights in marriage (right up there with the money ones) are based around sex. If both spouses listened to this passage, I think that we could reduce the amount of adultery that is so prevalent in our country. There are TV and radio shows that talk about cheating. There are leaders of our country that are caught in it. It is a huge thing in our society. I think it comes down to a misunderstanding of marriage and a major purpose for it. Paul says he wishes we were all like him, able to remain single, but that marriage is important for those who do not have self control. Marriage is important so that sexual desires can be fulfilled within that relationship. When spouses withhold sex from each other, even if the withholder feels they have a legitimate reason, they do not understand that in marriage you give up your own body. It becomes the spouse's. The only time it is okay to abstain from sex in marriage is if you agree to have a time of prayer, like fasting from food to be focused more on God.
Marriage has more than sex of course, and there are lots of things that affect how we respond to each other. Like I said in my three 2011 resolutions, I'm going to work to serve my wife. We have to work together as a team in all aspects of the relationship.